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Nepal

The results are in!

See me in there???

I am happy to report that we made it! The race was quite an extravaganza, as the above picture suggests. After the race, they posted up the number of participants, and to my surprise, there were over 20 000 people there hustling around. Here is how it unfolded:

We got there pretty early because we had missed the delivery of our race shirt/number and shoe tag to keep track of our times during the race, so we had to pick it up at the info booth. That was smooth, so we had some time to hang out, sip some water, do some stretches and watch Yeouido park fill up with eager runners.

At about 5:30 we started to get herded into the starting chute. We were well back into the pack, which I thought would be fine...more on that in a second...

The official start was at 6pm, and the race got underway as scheduled. Because of our spot in the queue to start, we arrived at the starting line at about 6:07 and for the next 3-400 meters, the pace was just above a walk as there wasn't much room to get into stride. Some people were already walking, finding out that they had had enough of jogging for one day. There was no general walk/run etiquette (ie. walking along the side rather than 5 abreast in the middle of the pack while snapping self pics), so it was more of an obstacle course out there, especially at the start. We managed to get into a bit of a rhythm though and crossed the 2.5k mark at about 20 minutes - not bad considering that as we turned to get on the Seogang bridge, the path narrowed and we came basically to a stand still for a few seconds. Rounding Seogang bridge, an ambulance and medical staff were tending to a few leg cramps and severe cases of athletes foot and at that point, the route opened up a bit wider and we were able to spread out a little bit. We wrapped back around to Mapo bridge and as we reached the 5k point, there was a hell of a clog where the water stations were. They were running out of cups, so we just grabbed a bottle of sun heated water and sipped and splashed ourselves as we kept rolling. LVJ and I ran together steadily until about the 8k point and then she needed a bit of a breather so we agreed to meet at the finish line. I just chugged along and was happy when I finally saw the finish line dangling like a carrot in front of me. I crossed with a total time of 1:11, and then LVJ dashed in about a minute after I did.

After not jogging much in the last couple of weeks, she did a hell of a job to get through it, although she is paying the price a bit today - walking around pretty gingerly. Anyway, we were both happy to accomplish something like that and celebrated by taking some muscle relaxants and going to bed.

The Human Race

Guess Who's Back?

Well, the summer has been quite fun and eventful. I will try to get a few postings up to review the highs and lows of the past couple of months.

As for today, LVJ decided after seeing an ad in the subway a month ago that we should both run in the "Nike Human Race" 10K race. I usually keep my jogging to a minimum - a quick jog to the fridge for a beer in between UFC rounds - so I thought it would be a nice challenge.

I generally only jog for 10-20 minutes at the gym before working out, so I had never run over 3km in my life I don't think...until now. I talked to my friend Morrison a couple of days before taking off to Canada for some running tips and he gave me a few pearls of wisdom to get me off on the right foot. He is an avid runner and just the kind of positive thinker that I needed to get me motivated. Hopefully I will see him and can give him a high 5 as he burns past me or maybe just a polite wave as I squint to see him up ahead in the distance on the course today.

The first few days of running were torture, and trying to keep on some sort of running schedule while on vacation in Canada was no piece of cake, but I made it through reasonably well I thought. I have only reached the 10K mark twice in the past couple of weeks, but I have some sliver of confidence that they aren't going to have to scoop me up in a meat wagon as I am doubled over and vomiting in Yeouido Park this afternoon. As for LVJ, she has been taking more of a minimalist training approach and saving her energy for race day.

I will report back with the results...no matter how shameful they might be...

VJTV Morning Line Up

By popular demand, here is the morning line up for all of you TV addicts...

	KBS	VJTV
6am	Gag concert - The best baking pan reactions	News - Did Obama drink iced tea? Thorough analysis.
6:30am	Gag Concert - Quasi celebrities wear matching shirts	Happy Days - Fonzie loses his cool when he gets a brush for his 40th birthday.
7am	Gag Concert - Quasi celebrities try steer wrestling.	Three's Company - Larry's slacks send mixed signals to Mrs. Roper.
7:30am	Gag Concert - Quasi celebrities talk frankly (and hilariously) about their dancing	The Simpsons - A reenactment of an old episode of Chico and the Man proves that they are fresh out of ideas.
8am	Gag concert - The best multiple replayed shocked looks	VJ Morning Show - Some chipper bastards make you wish you had never gotten up in the first place.

Preview to an update

This is not an update
Although there are several thrilling things to write, I do not have the time, nor the energy to do this right now. Please check your local listings for updates in your area.

	KBS	VJTV
7pm	Gag Concert - Quasi celebrities do silly stuff	Happy Days - Malph ruins Fonzie's office for the whole afternoon.
7:30pm	Gag Concert - Best of Gag Concert	House - Someone gets a lumbar puncture and an MRI
8pm	Gag Concert (replay) - Quasi celebrities do silly stuff	CSI - The gang investigates Horatio's missing acting skills.
8:30pm	More of the same shit	Survivor - In case you haven't heard enough bitching and whining already today.

Maroon 5 - Seoul

Went with LVJ to the Maroon 5 concert last night at Olympic Gymnasium. I know a lot of their songs by osmosis, and was expecting a pleasant time, but was surprised because they really rocked the party. It also helped that the audience was really into it and freaking out, which added to the energy of the whole event. I don't know if I have been to a concert where the audience stood and screamed throughout the whole set. It was a hell of a lot of fun, and LVJ had a blast.

Here's a clip of what I thought was one of their best numbers of the evening, although for the final encore, they came out and played a very moody version of "Purple Rain" which blew me away as well.

Enjoy:

Part - PDC World Darts Champion

John Part does it again...

JOHN PART 7-2 KIRK SHEPHERD
(3-2, 3-2, 3-0, 3-0, 2-3, 3-2, 2-3, 3-1, 3-2)

Why was this not the lead story on tsn?

2008...

Happy New Year from all of us here at VonJackass Enterprises. There are a couple of announcements that administration wanted to pass on to all of you:

For those of you who have already given up on using your four or five copies of a "2008 Yearly Planner / Diary", you can turn them in to the nearest Juvenile Correction center where today's misguided youth will painstakingly scratch off part of the 8 to make it look like a 9, then return them to the local pet shop, banking institution, plumbing supply store and / or jewelery shop. You can look forward to receiving them again in December 2008.

New Year's Resolutions bringing you down? Not to worry friends. The majority of humans on this Earth started rationalizing the breaking of their resolutions at approximately 3:14pm GMT on January 1st, so take heart...you aren't as weak-willed as you think you are.

Let's make 2008 the year that ends spam mail. Let's get serious already...is anyone really seriously considering slopping their credit card number down to get some risky prescription medications, a wang enlarging kit or to free up a few millions trapped in a Nigerian bank account? Furthermore, those forwarding internet jokes / chain letters / cartoons should be punished by having to use a 14400 modem for 1 year. Any time I see the subject line of an email that says "I thought this was cute" it moves me one step closer to the edge of insanity.

VJ Enterprises is set to release the best and worst of the year that was...watch for it on the weekend...prime ad space is going fast, so book today to avoid disappointment.

Blue Bulls Christmas

Thought we here at VonJackass Enterprises should get in the Christmas spirit with one of my favourites. As Christmas approaches, it is usually the time of year when I miss the family back home the most, and I am glad and grateful to have my "family" in Korea to spend the holidays with. "Uncle Dean and Aunt Jumi" are once again hosting Christmas dinner, but because of everyone's work schedules, we are having it on the 23rd. Maybe a bit of skating on Christmas Eve if anyone is up for it???? LVJ and I went out to Olympic Park to the outdoor rink there on Tuesday night and it was surprisingly excellent. W1000 to skate for an hour, including the skate rental, and there were only about 30 people there. Not sure if anyone else is game, but if you are, let me know!

Mother Nature's Golden Gems

No post for a while...working is tearing the life out of me. Tick Tick Tick...vacation will be here sooner or later. Thankfully though, my Christmas present to myself arrived today! John Part Golden Hero 26g. Hoot hoot. Took them out for a tear with Colin at RMT in Hongdae this evening. They started off a bit erratic, but once I found my groove, they were flying pretty well. Nothing like some new darts to inspire a guy to hit the practice boards and look for a lot of excuses to get out and throw. Trying to rework Saturday's schedule so that I can attend the season ending tourney, as I have never made it out to that extravaganza yet in 4 seasons. Took a sneak preview at the Goat's new Taylors and they are looking quite vicious as well. I guess at the very least, even if we fall apart during the season, we will still be looking good out there with everyone on the Bulls decked out with new spears.

To the oche I say!

p.s. I'm not sure what the "3 in a bed" flights mean exactly, but I will cover all angles just to be safe.

When Denis Lemieux speaks, you listen.

For my Korean friends...here is a quick run down on the rules of hockey.

Weekend Fun

I was wondering what to do over the weekend, and I had SFA planned, so I thought that I would get into the Christmas spirit with my annual Christmas light extravaganza. This may look like a lot of work, but it was surprisingly easy to do. With nothing more than a rope ladder, a roll of aluminum foil, a set of pocket mirrors, a chainsaw and a tin of raspberry jam, I managed to set this up in just under 19 hours. Of course, LVJ was on hand with a hard hat, clip board and a whistle to check the schematics and bark out instructions.

In an unexpected perk, Korea Electric Co. sent me out a Gold Membership card which gets me 10% off any dried squid combo at participating Megabox Movie Theaters. They have also named a uranium rod after me.

Big Bad Bill (is Sweet William now)

This is seemingly old news, but it is new to me, so I thought it was blog worthy.

Bill Nye apparently caused the residents of Waco to freak out when he talked about the sun and the moon. Are people really this moronic? The answer, oh my brothers, is "yes, yes they are."

Read on:

The Emmy-winning scientist angered a few audience members when he criticized literal interpretation of the biblical verse Genesis 1:16, which reads: “God made two great light, the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars.”

He pointed out that the sun, the “greater light” is but one of countless stars and that the “lesser light” is the moon, which really is not a light at all, rather a reflector of light.

A number of audience members left the room at that point, visibly angered by what some perceived as irreverence.
“We believe in a God!” exclaimed one woman as she left the room with three young children.

In "a" god? Meaning they believe in one of many gods? Well, who knows...I gotta wonder though, if people are going to get all bent out of shape over the luminescence of the moon, what the hell are they doing at a "Science" lecture anyway? Just hang out with the elders of your church, eat dainties in the basement, and bitch and moan about how everything would be better if everyone else were more like you.

_______

In this picture, Bill can be seen juggling what is known as a beach ball made of carbon and hydrogen as he warmed up for his speech in Waco.


Post speech reaction as angry Texans stormed out of the auditorium. Nye was misquoted in the Waco Tribune as saying, "Aw come on guys...don't be like that. Okay, judging by your angry reaction, I have crossed the line and I admit that I don't know what I am talking about...the moon really does emit light."
His precise words actually were, "Come on people, you gotta believe me. Look at me, I have a bow tie on. A bow tie for fuck sakes! Well Jim, I guess you were right...we should have just inhaled helium out of balloons and made funny voices like you suggested. Always a crowd pleaser around here. These hay seeds aren't ready for this fancy book learning yet. Give them 3 more generations."


Now enjoy this video...

Communication Breakdown

Which one of these characters do you identify with more?

Darts Round-Up

It came down to the crunch, which is the way it is supposed to be. We played Alley Ratz, who we had been chasing all season and were 2 points behind going into Monday night's action. We needed a 3 point win to clinch 1st place. Our home, Bless U, closed down for renovations on Sunday, so we lost our home board advantage, if there is such a thing, but we popped next door to Dolce and locked horns over there instead.

Play was a bit tentative, maybe because of some jitters, maybe because of the -4 temperature in Dolce at game time, maybe a bit of both, or maybe neither at all, but play started heating up as we battled through the matches. All were good and close matches as was expected. In a darts league first though, there was a heated exchange between our team and a member of the Alley Ratz. In Koichi's first leg against Eric, Eric thought that he would try to pad his stats rather than shoot for the win, so with only 1 or 2 bulls for the win, he tried to throw 5 marks on open numbers even though he was over 100 points ahead already. Koichi battled to catch up, but was too far behind. It was just a ridiculous case of poor sportsmanship, so The Goat and I piped in with a few choice words after the first leg finally ended. In a case of poetic justice though, in the 3rd leg, Eric also tried to do the same thing with 18's open and the lead, but Koichi hammered the bulls for about 5 rounds to catch up, then Eric missed the open 18's a couple of times and Koichi zinged a dart into the triple to win. Basically, being a prick cost Eric the game. He was quite proud of himself afterwards for some reason. That one leg meant a lot in the end though.

We split the doubles games, which took us to the team game to decide 1st and 2nd. If we won, we would have a 3 leg victory...of we lost, we would remain in 2nd. After only winning maybe 2 team games all last season, we have really picked it up this season and started concentrating on winning. Everyone played a steady game, and I was glad to hit the double 4 to put the final nail in the coffin for victory. 1st place baby! woohoo.

We have a bye this week for the first round of playoffs, and then will play the winner of FFOD and Cake Mix...the only two teams we lost to this season, so it should be wild.

Finally...someone was thinking.

Here is an ad campaign that I thought was quite interesting. While the authenticity of the dates in the photos is debatable, the effect is quite powerful. For the amount of time and money spent on marketing, it is good to see that someone still has a good idea once in a while.
(note: click to enlarge the photos...the date is key)

Venn Diagram of the Day

Space 1999

Over at Barry's place for one of his BBBQ bash extravaganzas last weekend (the extra B is for BYOB) and I noticed that he had the collection of "Space 1999" on DVD. My heart stopped momentarily (and not just from the meats - which were smoked and grilled to perfection I must say) because as a young lad, that show seemed to burrow its way into my psyche and send me into nightmares. I finally had a chance to search around and I found the culprits that caused me so many fits and terrors.

Look at this picture at your own risk. If it should cause you nightmares, call my parents...they will calm you down. (my advice though...make sure the blankets and sheets of your bed are perfectly smooth, and don't look at the plaid curtains as they will appear very large)

Whatever these things are, I hope they rot in hell.