2008...

Happy New Year from all of us here at VonJackass Enterprises. There are a couple of announcements that administration wanted to pass on to all of you:

For those of you who have already given up on using your four or five copies of a "2008 Yearly Planner / Diary", you can turn them in to the nearest Juvenile Correction center where today's misguided youth will painstakingly scratch off part of the 8 to make it look like a 9, then return them to the local pet shop, banking institution, plumbing supply store and / or jewelery shop. You can look forward to receiving them again in December 2008.

New Year's Resolutions bringing you down? Not to worry friends. The majority of humans on this Earth started rationalizing the breaking of their resolutions at approximately 3:14pm GMT on January 1st, so take heart...you aren't as weak-willed as you think you are.

Let's make 2008 the year that ends spam mail. Let's get serious already...is anyone really seriously considering slopping their credit card number down to get some risky prescription medications, a wang enlarging kit or to free up a few millions trapped in a Nigerian bank account? Furthermore, those forwarding internet jokes / chain letters / cartoons should be punished by having to use a 14400 modem for 1 year. Any time I see the subject line of an email that says "I thought this was cute" it moves me one step closer to the edge of insanity.

VJ Enterprises is set to release the best and worst of the year that was...watch for it on the weekend...prime ad space is going fast, so book today to avoid disappointment.